Noell Blevins: Are You My Mother?

I can still see their big brown eyes. Staring back at me trying to figure out if I'm safe to like. I've seen my boys for the first time and I'm in love. Deep, deep love. It seemed almost instant.

Our two sons. Brothers. One a baby and just learning to talk and one learning to read. I watched as T and Z effortlessly chatted with their brother. Within 10 minutes Z had him catching a football. While my baby was more interested in the cookies I toted along.

I can tell he's trying to figure us out; are we safe, are we forever, are we trustable. The little guy sitting on Js lap as they played a game. Little guy pauses long enough to spontaneously ask J if he likes to swim. And if our family likes pizza. What does our house look like.

I'm caught up in feeding the baby a toddler size meal of Mac and cheese and a sliver of a hot dog. Flashbacks of my teens running through my mind. These little toddler forks look much different these days. My baby smiles at me as I share my water. I'm staring into the eyes of my baby!

After a few hours little man is hooked on us. I wrote him a card and gave him our picture. We sat and read it together. He clutched the photo to his little fleece jacket and asked if he could put it under his pillow. I almost cried.

Questions came from little man such as; are you really my forever family? Are you my dad? I can't wait to squeeze your dogs. Are you my mom? How far away is your house?? Do I have my own room? What kind of toys do you have? Do you like pizza?

Then a brother to a sister... I hear little man ask T if she's gone all day at school. How long is her school? Do you ride the bus? When she tells her brother that she drives and has a car his eyes turned into brown saucers... "can I go in your car?" he asks with anticipation.

This first visit was all it took. I love my boys.

Before we left, we got together as a large family (foster family, boys, and us) and prayed in a circle. As I glanced over... I saw J sitting on the floor with little man wrapped around his shoulders from behind. We grasped hands to pray as a big family and little man said the sweetest 8 words ever spoken.

Dear Jesus, thank you for my new family. Amen.

I have never known as love like this. It's different than with my birth kids. With every cell in my body I want to protect them from danger, harm, cold, dark, harsh speech, fists. My kids have never been in need of this kind of protection. I think they realize their lives have been so blessed. And that their brothers desperately need love.

I wish I could have taken them home today. But there are a couple of i's to dot and T's to cross. And beds to set up. High hairs and hot dogs to purchase. If all goes accordingly, our boys should be home this week!

God is absolutely incredible. I'm so in love.?

Source: http://noelblevins.blogspot.com/2012/10/are-you-my-mother.html

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